Reflections on Race

Barbie
Age: 5 or 6
Location: Washington (State)
My parents made sure I had "boy" toys and "girl" toys and "gender neutral" toys as well. Anyhow, back to Barbie. My first Barbie was not a "Barbie." My first Barbie doll was "Miko," an Asian Barbie that came with a flower lei and wore a swimsuit. I remember being disappointed. I wanted the blonde haired Barbie that came with shoes and a dress.

What are you?
Age: 7 or 8
Location: Hawaii
I am (of course) still asked this on a relatively regular basis. My high school biology teacher thought I was Italian because my last name rhymes with Romano (cheese). But I digress. I'm talking about the first time I was asked. I didn't know the answer. I knew dad is from Japan. Dad speaks Japanese. Yet, I knew enough about the language to know that Pulmano wasn't Japanese. Why hadn't I thought of that before? I was somewhat ashamed that I didn't know what Pulmano was.

My White Mom
Age: 7 or 8 or 9
Location: Hawaii
I was walking with my mother. She was slightly ahead of me and I was dawdling behind, walking on some bricks that were raised higher than the others. Needless to say, I fell. I cried out, not because it hurt, but to get my mom's attention. A woman came over to me, consoling me, asking me where my mom was. Yeah. That's when I started crying for real. I don't think I was coherent at all. All I remember thinking was, "Yeah. That white woman standing next to you. She is my mom. My real mom. I'm not adopted, and she's not my step mom. The white woman is my mom."

Affirmation
Age: 8 or 9
Location: Hawaii
Second grade, Mrs. Shimamoto, I think after some type of "parent-teacher" conference, "You look like your mom." That was the first time I really felt affirmed that yes, you see my mom and you see me and you see the similarities. You see that she is my mom. Affirmation.

Check One
When: Senior year of high school
Location: Hawaii
I know practice has changed significantly since I applied to college and for scholarships, but I remember filling out forms where I had to "check one" where "mixed" was not an option. Some had "other" - how offensive! Thanks for trying to be inclusive, but "other?" Really??? Why don't you just put it in bold and italics? Other. I recall checking off whatever I felt I was that day. Some schools thought I was Japanese. Some thought I was Filipino. Some thought I was white. Sometimes I checked more than one anyway - if you ask questions like that, you deserve distorted data.

Wrong Language
When: Junior year of college
Location: Washington, D.C.
I was in some type of cafe and a woman who worked there came up to me, talking excitedly in Spanish. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Then, she stops. Shakes her head, waves her finger at me, "Shame on you, you didn't learn your language." I was so shocked I couldn't bring myself to say anything, to correct her. Well, she was half right. I didn't learn "my" language. But my language is not Spanish.

Mixing it Up
When: Senior year of college
Location: Massachusetts
Mount Holyoke College is known for its' diversity and the many ways it supports diversity - faculty, staff, clubs, organizations, etc. However, I never felt at home in the ACE House (Asian Center for Empowerment). The cultural group I spent most of my time with was the Hawaii club - my geographic location being more salient than any of my individual races or cultures. In my senior year, a group of great sophomores started a club called "Mixing it Up." I found I had more in common with my Cuban-American and Hispanic/Native-American friends than I did with the groups at the ACE House. Like the Cortes article we read, I felt I had more in common with my "mixed" friends that didn't share my races than I did with those that might have shared only one aspect. -Just the experience of being mixed bound us together.


For me, my racial mix has always been interesting to say the least. A white mother (English, Scottish, German, Dutch), and a mixed Asian father (Japanese and Filipino primarily...there's some other stuff too but primarily Japanese and Filipino). The only reason I can identify at all with the Filipino culture at all is because I grew up in Hawaii. Without Hawaii, I probably would have assumed I was just Japanese for much longer. My dad (who was born in Japan) was raised with a Japanese culture and language, and not the Filipino culture. This is what was passed on to me. I agree with the Cortes article - when it comes to students of mixed race, it is best not to box them in and not to assume anything. Let them tell you who they are.